The Paths We Choose Series

Part IV: The Darkness and the Light

Rating: M
Pairing: J/C
Summary: A sudden loss leaves the couple unsure about the future.
Disclaimer: Paramount/Viacom own the series and the characters that are related to Star Trek: Voyager, but the story is mine.
Length: 508 words
Date: April 1999

Chakotay was scared, but he couldn't let it show. Having both commanding officers incapacitated just wasn't an option. So he stayed strong, even though inside he was being torn apart. What the hell could be wrong with her? She was bleeding an awful lot.

"Commander? How long has she been like this?"

"I don't know. You'll have to ask Harry. Doctor, what could be wrong with her?"

"Well considering her present condition, it's probably..."

"Condition? What condition?"

Could it be possible the Captain had not yet told the Commander about the child she carried? Oh boy, best he let her tell him. If she made it.

"Her blood platelet count is down, I really have to get started Commander. If you'll excuse me."

The doc took her behind closed doors. He was afraid he would never see his fiancé again, but he had to be strong, for the crew.

***

Kathryn was in a very dark place. She felt so isolated, so alone. It was a feeling of complete and utter loss. But loss of what? That's when her father appeared. Was this the alien being trying to claim her again? She hoped not, she did not feel strong. His presence was calming though, not hostile as it had been before. She felt at ease in his company, yet she felt alone.

"Kathryn, I know you feel alone and isolated right now, but all is not lost. You have a choice to make. You must decide whether you want to stay on Voyager, or move on. There is more after death, but I strongly believe that you have so much more you have yet to accomplish in this life. You no longer carry Chakotay's son, but if you return there will be more children. Go back Kathryn, rejoin Chakotay. We will see each other again but not yet, not now."

Kathryn realized what she had to do. Everything faded in a haze of light. Then she awoke to Chakotay's worried gaze.

"What happened."?

"There was an accident. The turbolift fell. You were in it."

Kathryn's hands went instinctively to her abdomen where the bulge had been. A lonely tear fell, but she was strong, stoic.

"What did the doctor say?"

"He said you're lucky to be alive, and that you would tell me more when you woke up."

Kathryn met Chakotay's hard stare, and she knew that he knew.

"You were pregnant weren't you Kathryn? That's why you said you were sorry, you knew you were losing the baby."

"It was a son wasn't it?"

"Yes Kathryn, we had a son."

Kathryn began to sob. She knew there would be other children, but nothing could replace their first child. The one which was never meant to be, but would exist with them in their hearts forever. The child who was never given a chance. The child whose life had ended before it had begun.

 

 

END PART IV

TBC IN PART V